When it comes to introducing yourself to a woman, there aren’t a whole lot of things more frightening. What if she rejects you, 
what if she has a boyfriend, will I make a fool of myself. The reality is that fear comes from lack of preparation rather than just bad luck. According to the Amazon Best Seller “How To Get A Girlfriend – The Ultimate Guide” by Chad Scott Nellis, one of the best ways to open without getting rejected is to use direct and indirect approaches.
The Three Levels Of Conversation
Generally speaking, there are three levels of communication with your words (not including body language), which will gain more and more trust.
Level 1 Questions (Location / Occasion)
Level 1 Questions are your opening lines. The first thing you say to a woman will depend on where you are and what she is doing. Most of the time the best pickup line will simply introduce yourself and ask a question about your location or the occasion. For example:
Hey, how’s it going? What brought you here today?
“I can’t stand it when guys come up and say cheesy pickup lines. Its like they’ve been living in their parent’s basement and haven’t been out of the house in 5 years.” Jessica
When pickup lines don’t work its usually because they are not genuine, not funny, or just plain cheesy and girls see right through them. That being said, there are certain situations where “Hey how’s it going” just won’t be as effective during awkward moments, like when she’s at the market or on her way to catch a cab. Or you may want to try humor, which when delivered sincerely can be extremely effective.
The bottom line with this stuff is: You absolutely must practice it. If you cannot practice this stuff, your chances of remembering what to do in awkward moments are slim at best and you’ll be kicking yourself once again. Don’t let this happen to you… Practice!
As you go over these approach methods you’ll see some indirect conversation starters and some direct “Hey I’m interested,” openers. As a rule of thumb, if she’s alone and looking at you or you’re getting a good vibe, go for the direct opener. And if you’re really unsure, go for the indirect openers (more on this in a minute).
Solo Approach (Direct Openers)
Sometimes being direct is really appreciated by women; it’s honest and cuts straight to the truth: I’m interested. If you use these you’ll need to be really confident and unwavering in your delivery. Yes you could get shot down quick, but more important is that you don’t waste time. Here are some examples:
This one worked for me when I was rollerblading down the boardwalk near the beach one day and saw this beautiful girl standing alone just looking around and as I whizzed by I thought of this line. When I turned around and headed back I said:
“I saw you as I was flying by on my blades and I knew if I didn’t turn around and introduce myself I’d be kicking myself all day… so here I am… What’s your name?”
She said: “I’m Danielle,” with a huge welcoming smile. After about 5 minutes of conversation, I closed and ended up meeting her and her friends later that week. This one works great when you’re on the fly.
Wingman Essentials
When you’re with a buddy or wingman you can approach a pair of girls and take turns on who gets to talk to the hot one, but if it’s a group of 3 or more, one guy can hold the attention of the group while the other isolates the one he’s interested in. If there are guys in the group, talk to them first, then your wingman can isolate the girl of his choice.
Another cooperative effort can work when the wingman enters a group the other guy has been working and asks: “Where’s Heather?” which is code for “Should I stay or should I go?” If the guy in the interaction is feeling the wingman would lessen his chances or it’s a waste then he says: “I just saw her over there.” And if he feels it’s ok to join he says: “She left, let me introduce you to my new friends.”
If She’s In A Group Situation (Indirect Opener)
If she’s in a group situation you’ll need some specific wordsmithing, try these:
“Hey”
Say “Hey” then pause or use a funny nonverbal cue like raising your hand or making some facial expression that gets the group to look at you. After you’ve gotten her attention you’ll need to follow-up with something funny that makes you look cool or interesting and definitely better than what she was discussing with her friends before.
“Hey, sorry I’m late.”
When you encounter a group sitting at a table and it seems very private you can walk up and with a serious face say: “Hey, sorry I’m late.” After they give you a quizzical look you can then follow up with: “Actually… I’m here tonight to just meet new people what’s your name.”
Are you guys talking about me? Why not?
This line is very indirect and usually gets a few laughs, but the first line has to be delivered with a serious face and the second line with a humorous smile.
“Are you friendly?”
This one will help her drop her guard immediately as it presupposes that you are friendly and makes her qualify herself as friendly. Be prepared with a follow-up.
“Hey, I’m here to meet people, what’s your name?”
This is direct, honest and breaks the barrier.
“How’s it going? What are you ladies doing here tonight?”
When they ask you what you’re doing, tell them “I’m picking up on chicks!” After they laugh tell them “No we’re just here to meet new people and experience new things. Are you into new experiences?”
Do I look gay?
This one always works and breaks down the tension barrier immediately. Make sure you follow it up with something like: “My friend told me my shoes and my pants make me look gay and some guy just tried to pick me up.”
Opinion Openers
The opinion opener approach works like a charm and involves picking a topic of interest and discussing it with your buddy or wingman then finding a gal and asking her for her opinion. This is less intrusive and engages her on a non-threatening level, especially if it’s about a subject she can dig her teeth into like music, sex, dieting, hair, spas or other chick stuff. This is where you’ll need to take into consideration where you are and what type of woman you’re about to approach.
For more on opinion openers and advice from over 2,000 women check out How To Get A Girlfriend – The Ultimate Guide
