Today’s online dating sites offer an overwhelming amount of options. You
can find women who are interested in just sex, long-term relationships, a wife or just about anything you can think of. While the selection in online dating has increased, it’s brought with it more challenges.
These challenges arise due to the fact that a lot of people simply get overwhelmed by the amount of selections and websites and apps available for online dating. This could be compared to going to a buffet at Circus Circus in Las Vegas. You’ll find probably around 100 different dishes to eat but finding that one that you’re willing to give up all the rest for, will most likely be very difficult.
What I recommend to my clients is to do a little work upfront before they go out combing the Internet or combing the bars or even going to church and looking for someone. This work is called the clarity model. Basically, you’re just going to get really clear about whom you want and who you are so you have a match based on values not on needs.
You see most people go out and they need love so they’ll take whatever just shows up. But typically what just shows up is not what matches with your values, which is especially true in bars or clubs where you may have nothing in common with this person other than the fact that you like to party.
In contrast, if you take the time to sit down and write down what is most important to you in your life like religion, exercise, goals and get really clear before you meet someone, then chances are you won’t just fall for whatever shows up.
The problem is if you don’t get clear ahead of time and you find someone you have chemistry with, then most likely you’ll get physically involved, perhaps even having sex and that creates the chemicals of infatuation. These chemicals like serotonin and dopamine become addictive and you’ll naturally want to stay in the relationship just so you can get a dose of these chemicals, which you may misinterpret as love. The problem is, it’s hard to get out of the relationship once you become addicted to this cascade of chemicals.
Of course, if you get clear ahead of time you’re much more likely to be discerning when you meet someone by finding out more about them before you jump in and get hypnotized and stuck in the wrong relationship. This is absolutely crucial and this step-by-step process is outlined in my book How To Get A Girlfriend – The Ultimate Guide with contributions from over 2000 girls. It this book I actually interviewed and polled over 2,000 girls of all ages and their answers at times are quite shocking. If you simply do a little preparation and educate yourself on attraction and relationships before you go out on a wife hunt, I guarantee it will save you a lot of pain while giving you real pleasure from a close connection that only comes around once in a lifetime.
