dating tips for womenLet’s face it, getting dates are fun, but they typically don’t go the distance and they always leave you yearning to find that one special person who adores you, relates to you, has fun with you… the one you could get physical with and talk to all night long. This is a mate with a soul connection, someone who will not only stick by your side in the good times when you’re on top of your game, but in the bad times when you get thrown under the bus with a life-threatening illness, without a dime in your bank account. These are men with real character and real personality.

Essentially my goal here is to help you find that IDEAL MATE, but in order to get to this point, we first need to address the deal breakers.  So in this three-part series, I’ll discuss my results of polling over 800 men and how I found that there are really 10 top “Deal Breakers” which once overcome, will give you the best chance at creating a long-term relationship or even marriage. Of course, if these are not handled, you may make your man run for the hills.   So take a minute and study these, it could mean the difference between being alone for the rest of your life and having that special someone you’ve always wanted.

1 – Not Attracted

No matter how brutal it sounds, if a guy isn’t attracted he just isn’t attracted. This may or may not be something you can change depending on how much you desire a good-looking guy.

Like attracts like right, but what you may not know is that what you look like and the attraction you create falls under “sex appeal” and represents four distinct components including:

  • Static Attraction – This is your physique and yes it can change from exercise, nutrition and rest.
  • Dynamic Attraction – This is your body language and can also improve with some specific training on how you walk, talk and move your body.
  • Self-presentation – This of course is fashion, clothes and grooming. Do you always wear jeans and t-shirt, or that old ratty jacket? Even if you are a tomboy, guess what… guys need hot and sexy once in a while.
  • Circumstances – Ever been on a rollercoaster ride with someone and then felt like you were attracted? Heightened arousal from your circumstances gets attributed to you and can create attraction.

 

2 – Dishonest

If you met online did you reveal the real you? If you posted a couple pictures that didn’t show the character traits that make you “you”, then guess what? When this dude sees you his jaw is going to drop like a comet from the sky; he’ll most certainly feel deceived and run for the hills.

Do you make up excuses when you’re late or why you forgot to do something your partner asked? Or maybe even twist the truth about some more fundamental darkness in your life? These mistakes can cost you, as your partner will start to distrust you and eventually resent you. This resentment then kills the romance and the love begins to fade.

Twisting of the truth typically has deep roots in past experiences that may have created some false beliefs that do not serve you anymore. When these beliefs are triggered by current events, the pain of feeling those things may in fact push you to say or do things that are not in alignment with the truth.

For instance, I had a girlfriend tell me she wanted to have kids, which was a deal maker for me, yet a year into the relationship it became clear she really didn’t want to have kids. So did she lie just to get love from me?

Her truth was that she was abandoned by her father as a child and had deeply rooted negative anchors in regards to what it means to raise children. As a result, she really wasn’t sure about having kids. Yet, revealing this truth was more painful than just being truthful about the fact that she really didn’t want to have kids. As a result, she just kept lying to herself and to me dooming the relationship, which ended shortly thereafter.

3 – Not Present / Living in the Past

Do you find yourself asking your date about past relationships or do you find yourself constantly talking about the past? Unless its totally appropriate and relevant to the current situation, which it may be, talking about the past usually just drags in dirty laundry, which can taint a fresh start with someone new.

Focusing on the past is a common challenge with a majority of the population primarily because most of our outside influences like the media and yes even our friends are focused on the past and what’s wrong instead of what’s right. Changing this requires reprogramming of the mind with some specific strategies. Check our site for more info on breaking these negative anchors.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this 3 part series or sign up for our dating tips on by entering your email on the right.


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